Sunday, March 16, 2014

Day 1 at work after 13 weeks of maternity leave.........

I went back to work on Wednesday January 22, 2014, i was suppose to go back on Tuesday the 21st, but I just could not bring myself to leave you! I thought maybe 1 more day would make it easier I think it helped some, but not enough. Well if I say I am not sitting here sobbing as I write this I would be lying. This morning was one of the worst mornings I have had going to work. I really tried to prepare myself to leave you, but it was not easy the drive to work was long and I sat in the car before I came in trying to keep myself together.

As soon as I walked into the office everyone asked how I was doing and I lost it! I started crying right in front of everyone and I am sure the new girl thought I was nuts! I got back to my desk and put my lunch away and got everything turned on, then I wiped down and cleaned everything off because it had been sitting unused for 3 months! (by the way the 3 months I was off were the best 3 months of my life) I decided I was going to pump at 10:00 and 2:00 while at work because those were about the same times as you had been eating while I was at home with you.

My first pump was good, it was around 4 ounces which was good because that it what I needed for you! After I pumped I cried at my desk for a little bit because I just missed you so much, I also love nursing you and I missed that I wouldn't' be able to do that all the time anymore, just on the weekends and the evenings after work. I also was able to facetime your daddy so I could see you, you were sleeping and not missing me at all haha! I know that i say i want to be with you 24/7 right now, but someday you won't want to be with your mommy all the time and i will miss that! I miss your sweet baby smell while i am at work right now!

I was pretty busy in the afternoon, so i didn't think about being gone too much, I had a million emails to go through and also needed to go through my in box,  but once 3:30 hit i was dying to leave and get home and snuggle my sweet little girls! i seriously flew out the door and got home and was greeted at the top of the stair by Macy and you were all smiles for me! Which melted my heart and i of course shed a few more tears because i was so happy you were happy to see me!

I am so thankful for my friends at work who made the day a little easier by being  so nice to me and comforting me while i was sad! I know the days are suppose to get easier as i am away from you, but not sure they will! Maybe once the weather is nice we can spend more time outside and going out and about, you love to shop with mommy and look at the all the stuff at the store, watch out daddy :)

We are so blessed to be able to have the daycare we have, Joe is home with Hadley in the mornings of Monday and Wednesday while Grandma Adams comes over around 2 until i get home around 4:30, on Tuesday and Thursdays Grandma Abernathy is watching her from 9:00-4:30 and then Fridays she gets a day all to herself with her daddy! She is so lucky to have the care that she has! We are so thankful for our mothers!

I survived day #1 away from you, so here is to the next million days i spend at work while you are at home with daddy and your grandmas!

Daddy sent me this picture of you on my first day back! Wildy Cute is right :)

I love you so much Hadley Marie! It breaks my heart every day to leave you and it is not getting any easier, this mommies heart wants to be with you all day every day!

Hugs and Kisses my sweet girl!


Ashley said... [Reply]

It's so hard going back to work after having a little one. She's in good hands, though, it seems!! What a cutie she is!

J and A said... [Reply]

Awe girl. I'm sorry. I feel for ya. :(